Physical Violence: Toxic Relationships Help Yourself or Someone Else… Escape Abuse!
Physical violence: When entering into a relationship we have this innate desire to share life with
someone, anyone heterosexual or homosexual doesn't matter. We all want to have someone to
share our lives with. So when we find that potential partner how does it go so wrong?
In a perfect world no one would have baggage and everyone would have a clean slate. I firmly
believe that if you are not OK with yourself than you cannot possibly be OK for someone else.
How do we prevent ending up in physical violence – toxic relationship and how do you know if
you are in one?
Some forms of domestic abuse exist that are not nearly as noticeable on the surface as the
physical battering of domestic violence victims. There are some things that victims often don't
realize, or perhaps choose to ignore, but everyone should get a few facts internalized and
perhaps save some anguish for yourself or a loved one in the future. Although the majority
of domestic abuse victims are women, many men are abused by a partner, too. Often they
will not be verbal about it due to the feeling of dishonor or shame.
I am writing this because I have a back ground in being abused and for years would not
call it that because of embarrassment and the bold personality I have not could
see it happening to me. I fell head over hills for a tall handsome charming man that was
the cowboy figure. We had lots of fun and laughed alot when we were together. It was
impossible not to fall in love.
On weekends out and about adding alcohol was like making and instance ass-hole.
You could see him transforming before your eyes and I would always blame the
drinks. The comments that he made would make you stop and look at him, wondering
how he meant that statement. One of the famous statements "All women are whores
and they all want one thing". In a crowd, people laughed at him until he had that ONE
to many and his angrier would come out in explosions.
At the time I still did not want to be in the class as "abused relationship" so the excuses
started. "It was the alcohol talking" "oh he was just drunk".
Domestic Violence is Not Limited to Any
Class, Profession, or Level of Education.
There were warning signs early in our relationship, Jake (we will call him) dominated
and controlled alot of what I did by guilt. He controlled all of my contacts with family
and friends. He made all of our plans for weekends, holidays, vacations, and major
purchases. All holidays and vacations were spent with his family. He made alot of the
decisions.Compromise on his part never occurred.
Within the first few week of relationship,he began to belittle me over small things. I always
had supper cooked when he got home from work and many nights he would stop at his
mothers and eat before he came home and would say he was full and would not eat one
bite of what I had cooked. He always wanted me to pay for purchases such as groceries
and bills with my checking account. or credit card. He would give me money most of the
time to pay the bill but would always be late since the bill would be late since it was in
After being together nearly two years, I found that I was pregnant. Perhaps, I thought,
if I was the mother of his child, he would treat me more kindly. He continued with his
emotional abuse and rage. I thought perhaps it was because I was more emotional with
the hormones of pregnancy impacting my behavior. Maybe it was my fault. I found ways
of isolating myself in the house, trying to minimize the contact that seemed to enrage him
so often. The relationship was not looked upon by my family as a "approved" relationship
so that brought even more silence to the behaviors that were going on.
After my son was born he turned into a roller coast ride of emotions. When he physcially
struck me in front of his own parents and they stood and watched him with out helping me
I knew I was in more danger than I realize, as well as my son. I dropped my head, packed
all my belongings and moved out in less than 12 hours of being punched in my face. I took
my broken spirit, black eye and moved out.
I share my humiliating and sometimes horrific story with you because my story is not
uncommon. For so many years, I thought that I was alone in my pain and disgrace, but I
was never alone. One out of every two women will experience domestic abuse at least once
in the course of her marriage. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women
between the ages of fifteen and forty-four. Sixty-five percent of emergency room visits by
women are due to injuries received during domestic violence. Nearly 50 percent of female
homicides are committed by husbands or former husbands. Domestic violence is not limited
to any class, profession, or level of education. I am living proof of that.
Please let us not ignore or forget the women who are silently suffering. We can all change
one life at a time.
Angela is the author of this true story and has moved past this life to a happy home with
2 boys and a husband that has great respect for his family. These events took place over
13 years ago but the memories are still very real. Do not judge a wowen who stays … it can
happen to someone just like you. Angela was a lucky one that life has changed for this
business women with a powerful voice to help those that are reaching out to change their life also.